karmic kleaner

So for most of last week, I suffered from sick symptoms…what this means is that I felt absolutely cartwheels in the grass fine, except for…well. Yeah.
I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I hadn’t changed my eating habits. I have always had a very strong stomach. WTF.
After several days needing to alter my days, I decided to go see Chaya, my local rebbitzin, known for her methods of holistic and spiritual energy healing.

I went over to her house on Thursday afternoon, and she set right to work. Without even touching me, she used her reference manual and went into a sort of trance state, fluttering her eyes and popping her hands, feeling my physical energy. She discovered that the sick energy had already traveled from my skin to my organs, showing it was on its way out.
After this, she read my emotional energy, looking for the reasons that my body had reacted sickly to begin with.
She told me to be taking the words that she was giving me as I thought to interpret them—they weren’t necessarily an absolute truth or anything, but simply the feelings and energies being drawn from me. At first, I saw what she said as completely kool-aid; she told me that one of my big issues was my relationship with Gd. Other feelings that came out were issues of blame, finality, and boorishness.
After a nap though, I remembered I was supposed to think about these feelings and what they would mean to me, not necessarily what they might mean in the context of someone else. And I realized that maybe I was having these issues—issues of having changed the way that I am religious, not out of feeling or devotion, but perfunctory respect for my surroundings, which although in theory more religious, actually enervated my personal spiritual level.
Since realizing this, I have decided to reevaluate what I am doing here, and why, going back to certain standards that had made me feel connected in the past. Oh, and the sick symptoms are gone. Thanks, Chaya.