morning mourning

I woke up this morning and for a moment, I thought everything that had happened in the last 24 hours had been a dream. Then I saw the garbage can full of tissues and the photo album on the desk.
Hopatcong, where I grew up, is not the sharpest tool in the shed of hometowns. The people aren't always the brightest, most ambitious. But it had a bit of small town charm to it, a nice lake, and a slight removal from other issues.
My friends and I had all been poised to get somewhere better.

Saturday night, amidst making plans for the week and taking care of her dog, my very good friend Alyssa Ruggieri was murdered in her home, shot to death.

It feels important that people realize that she was murdered. This wasn't some beautifully tragic illness. She didn't do drugs. It wasn't a care accident. It wasn't an accident at all. Another human being looked at her, saw her beautiful face, smile, heart, and pulled the trigger.
It reminds me of one of the ends of a Harry Potter book--after Cedric Diggory is killed by Voldemort, and Dumbledore ignores the advice of the ministry and tells the school the truth about his death. DUmbledore says that to not tell the truth would be an insult to his memory, implying that his death was any kind of accident, or due to his own mistakes.
I feel the same way now. Vague comments about my friend having died, people would likely assume car accident. Which could have been faulted to another driver, herself, the weather, the road, anything. Because accidents happen. This does not happen. This should not have happened.
I have known many people who have died, I have been to many funerals, too many this year already even. But each of those people, sad as it was, had lived lives-most had children, grandchildren, had had the chance to get married, have a career.
Alyssa was 22 years old. And she was so great, even in this economy and just out of college, she had a job.
I am not interested in talking about Guiseppe Tedesco, her murderer. He is more than a criminal, he is a villain. But this is a time I am glad I believe in God--justice on this side cannot compensate. The other side will have to.

What is most important for the world to know is how remarkable a person this woman was. We had become close friends since the 8th grade. A life time of being friends with Alyssa would not have been enough, and 9 years certainly wasn't. Alyssa was one of the bravest people I have ever known in the most dangerous of environments--High school. She would never just follow along, would always say exactly what was on her mind. She had a confidence that could never have been measured. Her devotion to her friends and family were unparalleled. Even as we grew up, grew apart, it never felt that way. Whenever together, it was like things had never changed.
But now they are changed forever.
I cannot give justice to my friend's greatness in words. Trying would be like trying to catch the moon in a butterfly net.

The entire world should feel the gaping hole now left by her having been stolen from us. The fact that there are people who don't know about it, don't feel it, is incomprehensible to me.

I will miss you every day for the rest of my life, Alyssa. Rest in Peace.
9.4.1987/3.27.2010